Cuckold and submission fantasies

Do cuckolding and submission go together?  I suppose based on most of the erotica sites I’ve explored.  Well, yes, I’ve got a thing for women’s legs and high heels. Who wouldn’t?  And the sight of a pair of soft feet in sharp high heels would reduce most men to silent fantasizers.  It is true that admiring feminine legs, heels and feet is often associated with devotion, which is so close to submission.  Fair enough, but that does that make one somehow less of a man?

I am not into denial, I am certainly not into celibacy for my lover.

My wife doesn’t want to me to roll over for her and am I am happy not to have to.

Sure, cuckolding is linked with worship.  And that is really close to submission isn’t it?  So what’s the problem?

Perhaps I am just uncomfortable with the idea of cuckolding being so often confused with feminization, with punishment, or making one less “manly” when really it isn’t any of those.

Done properly, it can be one of the most exciting things between two lovers.  Just ask a happy hotwife.

Do I love having my lover climb on top of me and tell me what to do?  Sure… but so does she.

Cuckolding has very bad PR I’m afraid.  There isn’t a celebrity out there who fully embraces it, is there?  I’m not sure Tiger Woods counts.  It is not as if he really was happy about being “outed”.

But it is one of the most popular fantasies for men.  And for the women who free themselves from the stereotypes associated with “slut shaming” it can be extremely sexually satisfying.

Here’s to not associating it with some kind of lesser masculinity.  Let’s all agree just to make love not war for a while.   Being married to a hotwife, doesn’t make one any less of a man, in fact, quite the opposite.

8 thoughts on “Cuckold and submission fantasies

  1. You’ll have to forgive me, since you only just started blogging and there are only a few posts available to help me piece together your perspective. But there are a few things in this that made me raise a brow.

    First of all, I completely agree that a desire to be a cuckold does not necessarily make someone submissive. Cuckolding, like anything else in the realm of “not-normal sex” has many forms, and in some, the cuckold even takes on a dominant role, lending his wife out to be used by other men. So you’re absolutely right, it may overlap with submission, but is not the same thing.

    There’s also nothing wrong with not being submissive, and it seems like you and your wife have a system and dynamic that works. That’s what’s important, and it really doesn’t matter what other people think about it. Society is slowly becoming more accepting, but until it reaches that point, other people will judge. What matters is the person you lie next to in bed every night.

    But I get the impression that you think being submissive makes one less of a man, that feminization and being kept celibate and denied, that being owned and punished makes one less manly. I may be misinterpreting your words (which I hope is the case), and if so, then please disregard the rest of this comment.

    But if I’m correct, I really hope your experiences sharing your story, and reading the stories that others share changes that perception. There is nothing “unmanly” about being submissive. I actually find that odd that you would think that (if I’m right), since you yourself have desires that fall outside the accepted norm. This post almost felt like defending cuckolding (which is justifiable, because you’re right, many people don’t understand it) by saying that it doesn’t make you any less of a man. You’re right about that. But I get the impression that you think devotion and submission does make someone less of a man. And if that’s the case, then you’re guilty of the same thing you’re trying to defend against.

    The idea that submissive men aren’t real men is a misguided notion that has irritated and infuriated me ever since my own first explorations into BDSM as a teenager. Just as cuckolding isn’t tied to one’s masculinity (or femininity, for that matter), neither is submission. Some of the strongest, most secure, most confident men I’ve ever known have been submissive, and my current sub is a prime example. Not only is he strong and assertive, but he’s downright intimidating to a lot of people. His own family (including his parents, uncles, and older siblings) shut the hell up and listen to what he has to say. No one who’s ever met him can accuse him of not being “manly,” even after they find out that he is submits to whatever I want (and yes, sometimes that involves forced feminization). And everyone I’ve ever owned has been the same way.

    There’s nothing wrong with the way you and your wife live your lives, and I’m glad that you’re confident enough to recognize that, in spite of the bad PR that surrounds cuckolding. But, while submission is not your thing, I really hope you learn to respect other lifestyles and the people who choose to live them, without accusing them of not being “real men” (Do you believe that women who are submissive are not “real women?”).

    I really hope you one day realize that other fetishes and fantasies that men have are no more associated “with some kind of lesser masculinity” (your words) than the fetishes and fantasies you entertain yourself.

    • As a man who has lived a timid, tentative life exploring an excitement for submission and cross-dressing and whatever it is called, who has embraced many of the biases/bigotry that you expose and do not embrace but attack, I find your reply to the original post eye-opening. Thanks.

      I am not sure that I will ever outgrow my negative stereotype, but it would be a life changing transformation, and not for sexual reasons only.

  2. Thanks for the comment. You’re absolutely right. Embracing submission doesn’t make one any less of “a man”.

    I wanted to write this to explore my thoughts and own experiences and even to “think out” my fears and interests in this topic. While you are 100% correct that submission can be “fully masculine”, I think I am perhaps having a conversation with my own subconscious out loud.

    It is really great to hear you say the above, because I think many (perhaps I should just speak for myself) secretly fear that somehow embracing submission is to give up the masculine role. I am all for submission, but sometimes one has to conquer the judgmental voices of one’s own psyche. Perhaps these are the repressed fears or a repressed self-condemnation.

    It’s important to me that I can work through my feelings on this topic – I would like a reader of this blog to participate in the thinking out loud process. Sometimes that means I will say stupid things, sometimes I will say things that I will disagree with myself when I look back it. But I really want the opportunity to go on this journey to learn and change. And to do that, I have to voice my fears.

    • That’s definitely understandable. Sometimes the best way to figure out our thoughts is to do exactly what you’ve done, by having a conversation with your subconscious. And we all say stupid things sometimes. But I’ve enjoyed reading your blog so far, and look forward to reading more as you go on this journey!

  3. I relate, although never cuckolded it does fascinate me, the problem is the cliche Cuckold is a man who is forced to wear lingerie and watch while a “real” man shags his lady. For me I am more interested in a situation where I don’t watch at all, my lady is simply free to see others but I am not.

  4. […] Cuckold and submission fantasies (cuckoldconfession.wordpress.com) […]

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